Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize