the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
