I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
