Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
