I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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