I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
