Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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