My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
