Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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