I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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