Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
