I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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