Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
3 2 1 whiskey
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
