sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
