Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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