He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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