Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
