Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
