Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
