There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
