I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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