If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
