This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
