Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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