Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Less talking, more tequila
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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