The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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