Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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