Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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