apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
