I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
