can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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