Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize