We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
