He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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