Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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