The maid of honor just puked.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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