Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
