Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
