Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize