Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The ass gains better be worth it
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