am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
