Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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