At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
