I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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