Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
