Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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