If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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