i permit you to call me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
