I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
