I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
