Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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