We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Enjoy the penises
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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