Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
