My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
