Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
