just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
