My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
