Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
