It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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