Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
