You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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