i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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