So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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