"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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